#bc i was like well thats not what happened. and i was so confused by vivienne's comment.
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thewardenisonthecase · 1 day ago
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im not going to find it now, but @/v-arbellanaris post on the themes of identity loss in DAI are not that well handled because the inquisitior is not allowed to have an identity TO BEGIN with due to how centrist this game is is always on my mind.
Because like, everytime i see people talking about this big theme around the inquisitor i cant help but feel like i played a different game. I felt so disconnected from the inquisitor because I had no idea who they were. Like, they felt too much like a blank slate. DAO and DA2 both gave you established backstories of which you could build your character around, but DAI felt like I needed to work it from the ground up. I remember the first time i got that convo with Josie, in Haven, where you can establish some stuff, I felt almost weirded out because I was suddenly being told things about this character that I knew nothing about and now i had to establish things? It was confusing and I didn't even KNOW what to pick. And I played the games in order, so for it was extremely JARRING to jump from warden to hawke to inquisitor. So much so that it took 3 tries, with 3 different characters until I finally landed on one that I felt like i could work with, because until then, I couldn't figure out who the fuck my inquisitor was supposed to be.
And its really, REALLY hard to have a theme of you're losing your identity when you don't have one. I almost feel like there should have been two games - one where you deal maybe with only the mage rebellion and get to see and understand who your character REALLY is and then DAI, where you see all that you were get rewritten. And honestly, it gets to me because loss of identity is something that lowkey permeates the other characters - The reason Varric wrote the tale of the champion was in part because people were getting Hawke's story wrong (Cassandra is a GREAT example of how people were imagining things went down and why Varric's book was so relevant). I like to add that "you're only a symbol now" theme to my warden sometimes and it fees like a natural progression but to the inquisitor?
And to be honest, I'm not even entirely sure that this theme was intentional on the writer's part. Like, i give DAI some grace because of HELLISH the development was, but sometimes it feels to me that either they had a specific idea for who the inquisitor should be and if you play differently, themes get lost, or that the inquisitor was 1000% just some placeholder.
No wonder that the one character that stuck with me was Adaar because it was the only backstory that i felt gave me something i could work with - it said you have at least one mother and one father who left the qun and you joined a mercenary band and they have names. Not the faceless trevelyans who you only mildly hear about nor clan lavellan, who is talked about as if all those people were one person instead of, y'know, a group of people (i bring these two up because my 1st inky was a trevelyan and the 1st inky i ACTUALLY finished a playthriugh with was a lavellan and my god. i felt SO disconnected with them).
There's some other stuff too regarding the inquisitor's story that i don't know how to explain but that add to that feeling of not liking the inquisitor. Like, I think one of the things that I really like about the warden and Hawke is that you really have to build that character from the ground up. The wardens are very near the bottom of the social ladder and hawke is a refugee who's possibly an apostate too. it takes LONG in these games for your character to get any semblance of comfort. But for the inquisitor idk, i didnt feel that? Things happened to them and I had this feeling that they didn't deserve it. Like you go from haven, who's alreayd more organized than anything the warden and hawke had from the get go, and then you go to skyhold which is even nicer but I just cant help but feel that its unearned.
idk. its hard to explain. its even harder when i add the whole anchor thing, because I really do hate this thing. Like sorry, even if the inquisitor got named that because of their leadership, they were only given a chance to begin with bc of the mark. Its not a chosen one story but it sure as fuck feels like one to me most of the time. And the inquisitor being this leader is also something i just struggle with, and i blame it mostly on the fucking war table missions. Idk, again, bc in dao and da2 you have to basically do everything yourself, i could picture the warden and hawke as leaders, but because the nit and gritty is done by leliana/josephine/cullen, its like ok so am i just the guy who sits on a chair and orders people around? I just never get the feeling that the inquisitor is ACTUALLY working to get these things done its always just ordering others around. And like sure, the king who sits on the throne and orders people to their deaths is a leader, but the general who's going to war with me feels more like my leader than the guy with the crown (terrible analogy but its the best icould come up with).
idk. i have too many thoughts about how i don't like the inquisitor as a PC because of how they were written. its why i talk much less about asala because for me, despite doing 2 FULL PLAYTRHOUGHS its so hard to picture her in my head because the game gives me so freaking little to work with.
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justaz · 1 month ago
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I’m not trying to glorify or romanticize whats happening in this country right now and i hope it doesnt come across like that but I can’t help looking around at how fucking deplorable everything is quickly getting and then seeing how quickly humanity can babd together under the boot of our oppressor and help one another as best we can and its kind of…rewiring my brain a little bit? Like yeah humanity can be despicable - look at those in power - but it can also be so caring and empathetic - look everywhere else.
Anyways I’m rethinking how the purge happened in Camelot. Druids and magic were a natural part of every day life in Albion. Yeah, Uther probably spread propaganda against magic users but there had to be a portion of the population that saw through it and defended magic users against Uther’s raids and executions as best they could. Camelot citizens following the knights out as they head to a Druid camp, as they get close enough the citizens shout out to warn the Druids and give them a headstart while getting between the knights and the Druids to give them time to get away.
Uther probably had all those citizens killed or heavily suppressed and controlled by fear so he could properly eradicate magic users from Camelot. I don’t think Camelot citizens just let it happen. I think they put up a fight as well but Uther had them killed and then propagandized them as enchanted by the druids/sorcerers or something to further stoke fear of magic
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today-i-am-thinking-about · 3 months ago
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bill autopay
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ryuseitai · 8 months ago
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i was trying to figure out what date the trip album ids go by, and i think i did it hink it just counts all of the season that stella maris took place in But it was frustrating me at first bc. it has shinobu and tetora as 17 and midori as 16 and chiaki and kanata as 18 So itd be before chiaki kanata midori bday but after shinobu tetora so like, late june through late august But i was like wtf bc i felt like i rmbred stella maris being in earlier spring WELL ACTUALLY NO IM CONFUSED AGAIN BC STELLA MARIS Is spring of second year of es. so shouldnt they all be 1yr older than that Or am i stupid Or is it not going by date of stella maris.
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butchcharliee · 2 years ago
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sanchoyo · 2 years ago
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i start that new job tomorrow 😶 ...
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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basicallyheres the thing. i dont rly want to be immortal like me currently i probably wouldnt rly enjoy that. howeverrr if i got time travelled back to like the beginning of life on earth and was immortal i think i would have a good time bc im a curious girl. even just back to the birth of humanity or civilization... i just wannasee i wouldnt even do anything crazy with my immortality id just like. take a lot of notes abt everything
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femmefaggot · 2 years ago
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i dont trust my fri group to do it bc theyve like actively misgendered me but either if bug dies or some other campaign i rly do wanna try playing a not knowingly trans guy w my tues group bc they're like remarkably good at even it/its pronouns but also I would wanna do it w another explicitly trans character there and ik mo isnt time. idk abt evelyn.
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show-us-kaidenshenandoah · 5 months ago
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a loved one of mine sent me this post back in June, but i was immediately afraid of being a party-pooper so i didnt post my reply publicly but, now, ive had more than enough emotional distance from the knee-jerk anxiety of "oh no what if i correct people and everyone sends me hate and doxxes me" that im like "oh yeah i should post that" lmao (if i already did this: sorry, chronic memory loss stinks. i dont remember having done this before lmao)
if you dont like reading a long thing of text to get information btw, totally get it, here is a video link to Jessica Vill's video about the topic which will walk you through identical information if that is your preferred way to process/learn
also: you can easily google and wiki my sources, these arent hard things to verify once you know to look them up to begin with. but i did include screenshots below as my various sources; as well as evidence of "yeah, it would be super easy to fact-check me about this if you feel so inclined" [transcripts of images will be my reblog of this post under a read more, bc tumblr kept throwing a fit otherwise if i did it here] nonetheless, never blame people for not knowing what they didnt know. the misconception is absolutely the fault of PBS (for not fact-checking the author of that article pre-publication if nothing else) for publishing an article preying on the Black community's pre-existing attachment to Betty Boop for clicks. i wont be going into that article itself that had so terribly misreported, esp since PBS already apologized, im just reporting the information i know
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i will add the following corrections to what i said in that DM:
i do not "blame" anyone above for the misinformation. if i "blame" anyone, it is PBS for claiming Fleischer consciously based Betty Boop's personality and design on Esther Jones, which you can see in the screenshot above; where BlackHistory.com cites and quotes that said misreported article. thats who i was groaning about in my DM, the PBS article; i was not nor was i ever attributing misinformation to come from @rikareena or @lveshae, but especially not @rikareena who fact-checked and was lied to by (a) said misinformation and (b) there not being an editorial within the snippet SAYING "oh btw sorry, our source we mentioned was bad actually. PBS apologized for the misinformation and not fact-checking it and we should too for spreading it without fact-checking our source ourselves". you should always google your facts and that is exactly what @rikareena did. it was not anybody in this post's fault that these sources were based on misinformation. do NOT blame or send negative attention to any tumblr-user/individual person within this post or outside of this post, istg, demand better of these website-sources instead (esp to have fact-checking teams themselves) and not individual people omfg
we do have few photos of Little Esther (you can see all of them in Jessica Vill's video), not just one. but they all are of her as a child. we have NO confirmed photos of her as an adult. also, to clarify, Little Esther was who i was talking about in regards to lost media, we have VERY little records of her performances (to which im glad people HAVE been looking into her and finding more about her that we can confirm is definitely her through this misreport. i love that she is re-gaining fans and her story is being shared, very big silver lining of this whole thing. if you're into uncovering lost media, please do look into her and help find more about her) also, she goes by "Baby Esther" and "Little Esther" as well as her name of Esther Jones/Esther Lee Jones
the photo i said was maybe her as an adult was incorrect. you'll see it below, it's the "Do Tell by James Van Der Zee, circa 1930" portrait that has oft been misattributed to Esther Jones. we do not know who this woman modeling for him had been
the cosplayer in question i mentioned was specifically Olya Gussy. she dressed up as Betty Boop and was photographed in 2008 by Retro Atelier. she is often misattributed as being an adult Esther Jones, which she is not
part of why i can never remember Betty Boop's primary "original" voice-actress is because Betty Boop has had SO MANY, even in just "classic Betty years". but i was specifically thinking of Mae Questel. the main three classic 1930s Betty Boop voices were Mae Questel, Mary Hines, and Bonnie Poe, but there were also several others in the 30s alone. but, yeah, when i was trying to talk about Betty Boop's voice-actress, it was Questel specifically who was in my head
i got my information wrong about the Betty Boop musical "Boop!". i got confused; i blame my chronic memory loss, but still my bad. anyway. it has so far ONLY been OFF-Broadway and is DUE to be ON Broadway in 2025 (get hyped!!! im so excited!!). off of Broadway, it has so far only been in Chicago according to the Wikipedia. and though it only had a had a short run in Chicago overall, the entire time it WAS in Chicago, Betty Boop was played by a Black musical actress: Jasmine Amy Rogers. love her, go support her!!
here are various screenshots with more information. feel free to look into them and/or the court-case on your own time. this is just "yep, shallow 2+2=4 levels of using google/wiki to fact-fact" on myself (which, to reiterate: is NOT a diss on anyone who didnt know what they didnt know, outside of this post or within it, idgaf, i do not tolerate trolls and dickheads being mean and utalizing me/my posts as a weapon to do that with) and show my sources in a more visual way
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so yeah!! Betty Boop absolutely should be claimed by Black people since she has so many connections to Black American art within her performance, and Betty should 100% be drawn as a Black woman by any and everybody who wants to depict her that way
but also dont give Fleischer Studios credit for things they didnt do. they did not utalize Ether Jones in their initial conception of Betty in any purposeful or concious way; they did not design a Black animated female character in the 1930s. do not give them that credit that they have not earned. Fleischer Studios only utalized Esther Jones to get out of a court-case they had with Helen Kane. them accidentally creating a character whose performance is heavily in connection with Black American artists, like Esther Jones, is VERY DIFFERENT than them basing a character off of Esther Jones or being inspired by her in of by itself. do not give them flowers for making a Black female character star in her own shorts (and then rescind said flowers-that-they-didnt-earn for how she then "became white-washed" like that PBS article misreported) when they just?? didnt do any of that?
(also this is mostly unrelated but bc it is tangentially related to "dont give Fleischer Studios credit for things they didnt do" thing: if you know me, youll see me specifically crack jokes about Betty Boop being wlw and/or about her "he/him butch girlfriend, Freddie". im talking about her canon boyfriend, Fred or Fearless Fred, who is a human (unlike her also once-canon boyfriend of Bimbo, the anthropomorphic dog). do not take me making jokes about headcanons and how "Fred's design is too sapphic to be a cis man" as legitimate fact. youll see the internet jokes of a similar vein sometimes, im definitely not the originator of that joke)
Betty Boop is for everybody in the same way as youve likely seen that Hatsune Miku trend where everyone is making a cultural Miku re-design to their specific ethnicity or way of life; we've seen Betty Boop be flexibly "for everyone" tons of times, even outside of her being a nostalgic tribute to the flapper girl era (a cultural niche in which women of ALL backgrounds took part). in classic Betty Boop cartoons alone, we've seen:
Betty Boop as white/white-passing (especially any time they copied Helen Kane which Fleischer Studios did OFTEN and didn't even HIDE until it became a legal issue; but also Helen Kane wasn't even being that original. baby voices like Betty Boop's was a common gimmick of actresses then and Helen Kane's catch-phrase wasn't even her own. i still personally think Fleischer was copying Kane, but also it makes 100% sense why she lost that lawsuit),
we have had Betty Boop be Jewish (the most obvious being parents in some shorts speaking with thick Yiddish accents, implying she is the daughter of immigrant parents, most famously in the "Minnie the Moocher" short as part of the set-up before any music even began to play),
we've had her be rotoscoped dancing using Indigenous Hawaiian dancers, in their regalia, and given a tan (multiple times but my favorite is "Bamboo Isle" for sure),
we've had her collab with Cab Calloway (a famous Black jazz musician for anyone who doesn' recognize the name) along with others and had Betty Boop's catchphrase ultimately come from Baby Esther's scatting, along with other instances of Betty Boop's performances having connection to Black American performance-art
and, hell, you could even make arguments about Betty Boop as a cowgirl in her "Nan McGrew" parodies. cowgirls and cowboys were a largely queer and/or POC group, paid very little but allowed a lot of freedom of expression and welcomed isolation, until America cinema and the like white-washed cowboys to hell and back. you could see Betty Boop as anyone of any identity, really, but especially as being of the marginalized in that vein
Fleischer Studios did definitely (accidentally popularize infantalization in animated women woah who said that, who brought up my special-interest) only announce that they used an alagamation of flapper women in their design to better shoot down Helen Kane, but that doesn't mean it wasn't true. Betty Boop IS the 1930s tribute to the flapper era of the 20s and all the women from there, of all skin-colors and ways of life. anybody can cosplay or draw Betty Boop. but Black people especially do have a special connection to Betty Boop that cannot be denied and is v beautiful
(i could talk for a few hours about Betty Boop, and i will be the first to admit this isn't even her first "well, originally..." debate concerning her as a character, much less the breadth of her impact OR all aspects of her history. there's all the ways she did steal/borrow from Helen Kane, at least in my opinion; her impact of infantalization in animated women's designs; her hyper-sexualization and how theater at the time functioned (in a sexual way*) and her specific "gags in the margins"(*×2) animators would make; her almost movie about her and her father that a lot of Betty Boop fans have dug up and shared the conceptual work of around; and even the debate of her age as that is constantly in flux depending on where you look and at what time of history (*×3). all of which i mention in an "if you liked learning about Betty, there is a lot more to look into learning about her" way rather than an "ask me, ask me, ask me" way)
(said * clarifactions will be with the aforementioned reblog to not make this post even LONGER than it already is lmao)
anyway. again: A++ art though, absolutely love it ♡
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#betty boop#esther jones#baby esther#little esther#esther lee jones#long post#ps. the wiki bit about the PBS article is a bit confusing bc theyre throwing years around around#to clarify: 2015 was when the article was published. well within the same month it was posted (probably the same week ngl but#idk for sure) they posted an editorial on the bottom of the article apologizing and saying they were wrong (in no small part#bc Fleischer Studios themselves contacted them yiKES YIKES YIKES lmao). so these articles from 2017 and everything?? real sHIT FUCKING#JOURNALISM like youre telling me yall could scroll to the bottom of the article??? bc i KNOW it was at the bottom i SAW IT BACK IN 2015#anyway. i guess?? PBS realized people were still citing them and went ''y'all really not scrolling to the bottom?? really??? yOURE#GONNA GET US IN TROUBLE jfc you guys we dont want a court case from the people who own Betty Boop and the defunct Fleischer#Studios about libel and apparently we cant trust yall sO YOINK'' and then in 2021 allegedly deleted the article according to wikipedia#(i dont care enough about PBS' article to check if it was deleted) the one thing i will grant these other articles is my#chronic memory loss makes shit fuzzy so MAYBE the editorial apologizing was posted as late as EARLY 2017. okay MAYBE. but i fucking dOUBT IT#BC??? HELLO?? FLEISCHER STUDIOS MESSAGED THEM??¿???¿¿? but idk MAYBE its a 2015 article that went viral in 2017 so Fleischer didnt know#until then?? buT THATS ME BEING FUCKING GENEROUS. I REMEMBER SEEING THE FLEISCHER MESSAGED THEM AND SEEING THE ARTICLE LINKED AND READING#IT AND THE APOLOGY AND I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS 2015 I REMEMBER BEING IN HIGH SCHOOL but idk maybe i was visiting a teacher at the time i#saw it and my memory loss is making shit fuzzy bUT 2018 ON GOT NO FUCKING EXCUSE AND I REALLY DO THINK ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENED IN 2015 I JUST#AM WELL USED TO MY MEMORY LOSS FUCKING WITH ME. THATS MY ONLY DOUBT. NOT WHAT I ACTUALLY REMEMBER. BUT THE FACT THAT I KNOW IVE#BEEN CONFIDENT BEFORE ONLY BE WRONG AND BETRAYED BY MY CHRONIC MEMORY LOSS. I SWEAR THE EDITORIAL HAPPENED IN 2015#but yeah the wiki makes it sound like they didnt have to apologize for years ans that they did a quick ''sorry!!'' and delete. nah lmao
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ragnars-tooth · 1 month ago
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i completely and absolutely hallucinated the last time i read firestar apparently bc i was ten thousand percent sure russ shot beargstrom at the end. i thought that man was so dead. so imagine my surprise rereading tfe properly rn.
(i was already too confused by whos who irt the bears last time anyway so if anything its making me feel LESS stupid that i just misread a paragraph and fucked up the entire plotline for myself <- it will happen again)
consider this a public acknowledgment that it turns out idk what the hell is happening in these books, soz <3 i will continue to lie by accident and make shit up 🥰
#rangnar rambles#if you ever read a matt ragnars tooth tag about how Mysterious bergstrom is and how little happened with him just know: i forgor#tbf he doesnt do MUCH more than i misremembered. i still dont know what his deal is. but in the intended way now <3#anyways my tragic old man yaoi just got less tragic and tbh i preferred it when i thought they killed eachother /j#turns out. if you read carefully#the plot makes sense.#this is not foolproof (good god it is Not foolproof) alas. it does help to not devour seven books in a weekend#relatedly i read fireworld way too young and had reocurring dreams about it that i then was very confused about on my initial reread#(i was 8 when that thang came out. didnt read the book properly again for 12 years. Bewildered and appauled that lucy was not locked#in a tower and tam was a full knight in real armour </3)#everyone was stuck in a like. roman bath ruin. and also were sometimes statues. could not tell you what i thought was happening#could tell you i was entranced by the weeping angels dw episode and live near roman bath ruins. and have arthurian autism#you know what. embarrasingly i know exactly why i misread this bit of firestar. its bc i was so stressed out (from the books tension.#nothing else in my new adult life i was living) that i was blitzing through the last third#the tension worked on me so well i made up a character death. and then confirmed it for myself bc if davids not safe#why the hell would bergstrom be <- not flawed logic persay. still stupid#and i know this bc it happened AGAIN#i am not immune to the emotional impacts of firestar...#i can look at it and go 'hmm this structure is maybe a bit rushed and idk that it was a good idea to introduce huge changes/characters#in the last 100 pages' but it is also my favourite in the series for those exact reasons. i love a book that makes me sprint and trip on my#face. i love not knowing what the fuck is happening at any point in time#i loved when i thought bergstrom and russ were in love and russ killed him in an act of mercy he didnt know he was committing 😔but ill LIVE#I GUESS. if i MUST#in all ramble posts i hit a point of 'thats too many tags. into the drafts of shame it goes!'. and then keep talking anyway#and eventually hit 'this is absurdly too many tags. PERFECT.' guess where we are
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snekdood · 9 months ago
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#last night i dreamed that i was trapped in my same patterns as i am while awake but the building i work in was bigger#and i was so dizzy and disoriented that i kept stumbling from room to room. up and down stairs. running into people who would stare at me#in confusion until one grabbed me in the way u do when someone is being concerning and incoherent and he made me sit in an auditorium#with a doctor who already knew my name. but then i was back in my messy apartment staring down at a lizard id let die because id forgotten#to feed it. part of my brain was in contact with my mum and she said i should come home so i did. i appeared there but i seemed somewhat#transparent. liked id been there a long time so no one noticed my being there was out of place. they were there but doing other things#i wandered into a room where some ppl i knew from hs were performing surgery. i went to wash my hands and the soap came out as blood#my sister tolerated my presence. which is out of character. she seemed to sense something was wrong. then i walked back into my current#apartment halfway across the country. caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and became transcendently angry#uneasy dreams. but at least i didnt have to get up at 6. i mean i still only got like 7hrs sleep at most but better than 6 i guess#its probably bc i spent so much time hysterically crying and staring off into space yesterday. by the end of the day i felt so awful i#wondered if i might b getting sick. dizzy in that way thats not quite dizzy#but today should b pretty laid back. still doing things but probably ill hace time to get some non work bullshit#done. hopefully. then its back to 11hr days until Monday#then the experiment is over and i havr to deal with the consequences. and finish my other destructive project#which has at least 11 days left#well see what happens 🫠#unrelated
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chisungie · 1 year ago
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#GRRR >:( searching for utapri content makes me so grrrr !! but also thoroughly impressed#because people will post shit with the song title and group name ex quartet night you're my life#and ill hear it. and ill be like huh? what happened to the VA it sounds kinda diff? why does camus sound like hes struggling..#like ranmarus voice is rougher whats up with that? the mix is also a little- AND THEN I'LL HEAR IT. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GOOD AT THE VOICE#BUT I CAN RECOGNIZE MY BOYS. THIS IS A FUCKIGN COVER GROUP >:((#i can pick out quartet night cover groups from the real deal ANYDAY. but i wasnt ready so you definitely had me convinced but confused sobs#for starish.. well usually one member gives it away. this camus is fucking good tho ngl. all of them are but- OH THEY ALWAYS DO EXTRA ADLIB#THAT TOO. cover groups r so creative.. oh the mix is so much better when its the official ALSKDJ sORRY IT PLAYED RIGHT AFTER#DUDE AOI SHOTA'S VOICE <3 ID NEVER MIX HIM UP WITH ANYONE !!!! just like ill never EVER GET OTOYA MIXED UP WITH SOMEONE COVERING HIM. NEVER#anyway the point is. its hard enough to find any fucking utapri song when ur not in japan or have a vpn or smn.#and THEN WHEN YOU DO FIND THE SONG ITS A FUCKING COVER GROUP THAT GOT UNCREDITED BC OP THINKS ITS THE OFFICIAL ONE.. NO!#to the cover groups credit tho. theyre always fucking amazing tbh and if i didnt spend multiple years of my life fixating on these voices#then u mightve fooled me. but i did! so u wont fool me :'))#feelsbad tho bc the cover groups/singers get uncredited and the internet just goes on believing that it's the official release.#44597#anyway thats my rant bc i tried to listen to a song i hadnt heard in a while and had to wonder if the singers always sounded so awk.not neg
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carbonfiction · 2 months ago
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Redlight.. Greenlight..
Summary: You and your stepdad Logan have an... Unconventional, kind of relationship. One that runs deeper and much more intimatly taboo than your mother knows. You need him? Heres there.. Except for, well, when hes not.
So what happens when wants to play a little game with the gift he gets you from the fair to fill that exact problem?
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Warnings: p with v lil plot, stepdad!dofp!Logan, slightly more innocent!reader so tagging for innocence kink, taboo relationship, stepcest! (Logan is dating readers mom- should also come without saying but reader is absolutely of and above age!!) couple mentions of cheating, pillow/stuffie riding, size kink, mention of male masturbation, cum, cum swallowing, lil mention of reader having nipple piercings, slightly rough/mean logan, aaaand some daddy kink (Sorry :( i couldnt resist) i think thats it!
This piece is def more a dark fic so please please keep the tags in mind! This is all fiction and between adults, however you are aware of your media consumption; If you don’t like anything above, do not read. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay, I won’t be offended.
Masterlist Words: 2.4k
I.. Cant even explain the spiritual experience that writing this was. Y'all wanted it so, outta the love i have for you all, i delivered (or, attempted to!!) in typical me fashion It got nasty quick and i can only pray hell has an ac down there bc man.. Its exactly where im goin after this😭👹
"There you are sweetheart" Logan grins, one arm drawn up as he knocks gently on the doorframe for your attention.
You sqeak quietly in suprise, head flying up from the book your reading laying open on the bed. Your gaze meets him, stood wide and tall in the threshold of your room. His denim jeans and black shirt cling tight on his body, one muscular arm sitting tucked behind his back; holding something out of view.
You roll from your spot on your belly as he saunters further in. He shuts the door while you shift yourself until you kneel carefully on the edge of your bed. "Got a surprise for you.." he trails, chucking softly at the way your eyes brighten at the comment. Ever his sweet girl. "saw this at the fair and thought of you"
You cock your head like a confused puppy as he brings his hidden arm from behind his back. With him he pulls a big stuffed bear that has got to be at least a couple feet tall. the fur is pink, fluffy and soft as he places it into your grasp with a smile.
"Dunno if its a it's a little childish, you're uh.. probably a bit old for stuffies" he says, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "but.. thought you'd like to have him around.. You know, as a reminder when I'm not here."
You nod, eyes glossing over slightly as you begin to understand the hidden meaning in his words. your fingers play with the fur of the bears shoulders, ruffling it a little as your lip tucks under your teeth at the thought. you know he's hinting at being on missions, for when he cant take care of you.. his sweet, slutty girl. His pretty little step daughter.
His bigger fingers join yours on the bear, another deep chuckle falling from his lips. "Your mom- she was practically avoiding me any chance she got as we walked around" he continues as you smile amused, looking from him to the bear like he hung the moon. "kept tellin me to just put him in the car and, well, you know me, if I'm gonna get pushed, I might as well find a way to make it more amusing. Piss her off a bit"
You giggle quietly at his antics, at the thought of the huge gruff wolverine carelessly carrying a giant pink bear around a fair ground. How he would so willingly embarrass his girlfriend- your mom, with a gift so clearly for you; her adult daughter.
"Well i love it.. Thank you daddy!" you beam, his title, reserved for those needy moment you spend with him, rolling off your tongue before you care to stop it. Arms reaching up as high as they can in an attempt to hug at his neck. He drops down for you to reach, but your fingers still hardly clasp around the bulk of him. his chest rumbling at your excitement.
"glad you love it sweeth-" he goes to say, but you cut him off, unable to hold your want for him back any longer tonight. Your lips pressing sweetly against his, kissing him sloppy as you hang from his neck. Damn near sucking on his tongue.
He savours the taste of you, of the lipgloss that so often glistens on your lips before he pulls away to mumble warningly, fingers splaying out on your back. His head dipping to nose along your jaw. "Careful. Your mother's downstairs."
"Want me to s-stop?" you murmer, stuttering slightly at a gentle nip he leaves behind your ear. Eyeing over the grey streak in his hair your Lips pout, dainty fingers pulling logan by the back of his neck to look at you.
One of his hands glides up from your back, cupping your cheek like a fragile piece of glass. "Never. Never want you to stop kissing me sweet girl. Just.. giving you a warning that your mother's home"
"Dont care" you mumble rebelliously, shifting forward until you press against his lips again. "love you daddy"
He grins at that and you feel it pressed to your face, his scruffy beard rubbing your skin. "love you too, little one" he murmers honestly, thumb stroking your cheek as he pulls away. "More than you know.."
The hand on your back slowly drifts again until Logans got a large palm filled with your shirt covered breasts. "Look at you, so fuckin pretty. Give me a peek sweet girl?"
You nod with a breathy whimper, unwrapping yourself from around his neck and tugging the shirt up before throwing it to the floor. Logans eyes rake over your body, a groan falling free at the sight of your bare tits, eyes immediately catching onto the little barbells peaking from the sides of both, not to mention your lacy panties. Soft skin fully exposed to him without the oversized shirt hiding you from his view.
"I noticed something when I went to bed the other night" he starts, the hand on your cheek moving to your hair as he roughly tugs your head up. A bashful pink covering your cheeks; already knowing what hes about to tell you.
"My side of the bed was all crumpled up, sheets at the foot of the bed. I thought it might have been your mom but.." he stops, thumbs swiping at the buds of your nipples, already taught and sensitive around the bars from his touch.
"It smelled like you and for a moment i though it was just your perfume.." he leans down, pressing the words below your ear. ".. It wasnt your perfume though was it sweetheart?"
Your body shivers, mischief twinkling brightly in your eyes. The picture of innocence is not you, practically naked in front of your stepdad- a man who should be bedding your mother- accusing you of rubbing yourself over his pillow.
"No. No it was that pretty cunt i could smell" His touch grows rougher, fingers pinching around the supple flesh at the same moment he nips your neck again. "Just like i can now"
You cry out a little too loud as his hand dips from your chest, fingertips brushing the waist of your panties and snapping them against your skin. He shushes you quickly, pressing your face into his neck.
"had to lie there, rock fuckin hard, listening to your mom play that game on her phone until she passed out before I could finally jerk off and get myself properly taken care of.. Would've found you to help but you chose your moment to 'Stay at a friends'.. just knew I'd fuck you stupid if you were here huh?"
"M-mhm!" you nod desperately, slick beginning to make the fabric of your panties damp. The same panties his fingers begin to trace over, touch fetherlight over your cunt. "J-just wanted to play with you"
"Wanted to play with me huh? Could've just asked sweet girl, you know that.." he tuts, speaking the words so honestly. So easily, like you wouldnt be asking him to sneak out of bed and cheat on his girlfriend- on your own mother, with you again. But You know deep down he doesn't care, especially not when he touches you so perfectly. "So, how about we play a little game now hm?
"W-what kind of game d-daddy?" you question with a whine, hips rocking slightly at the feel of his fingers applying more pressure to your covered clit.
His hand pulls away from your panties as quick as it had gotten to them, the grip on your hair still tight as he makes you look at him with a dark smirk. "you're gonna ride that cute bear daddy got you and stop when i tell you. Simple redlight greenlight.. That sound okay sweetheart?
You nod quickly, letting him move you to the position he wants until your straddling the pink fur in the middle of the bed- knees pressing into the mattress. Your Lip once more bitten as you eye over the bulge forming in his jeans.
"Good girl, there you go. Make yourself feel good like you did on daddys pillow.. M' gonna stay right here" he grunts then, standing with a hand against the foot of the bed.
Your hips rock experimentally, a gentle sigh falling from your lips at the contact. The fur tickles softly between your thighs, an added sensation as your clit grinds nicely against the gusset of your panties; further drenching them.
Logan observes the way your lip remains beneath your front teeth, denting the plump skin until blood pools red beneath it. He feels his own blood rushing down to his cock at the sight- senses already overwhelmed by you as he watches your bare tits move softly with each movement.
"That feel good sweetheart?" he rumbles, shooting a smirk at you as your hips begin to wriggle quicker.
"Ye-fuck- ah.. " you whine back, chest begining to heave from the effort your putting in. The mattress squeaking softly below you.
Its then he grunts a word you dont want to hear, not with how good it feels. "Red light.."
You stop immediately, figuring if you obey he might let you off quicker, a cute little pout falling across your lips as you look up at his heft. "Good. You got it."
He lets you breathe a moment more, relishing in the praise as he shifts one large hand to the crotch of his jeans; palming roughly at the bulge there. "Green."
Your hips roll once again, wasting no time in chasing the warmth in the bottom of your belly. the wetness of your panties providing a slick streak for you to rub quicker against the bear.
Soft bucks and wiggles soon change to quick grinds and bounces, the bears leg locked tight between your thighs. One hand holding the bear in place the other teasing a budded nipple. At the pace your going, its not long before your whining out again.
"O-oh Daddy- im- m' close." you whimper in that sweet little tone. The same one you use when his cock is stretching you cunt wide around him. Desperate eyes peering up to find his dark gaze.
"Red light.." he grunts meanly, hand still rubbing thickly over his covered cock. The pleasure of observing you rising in his belly. He watches the way your thighs tremble, barely there now he's stopped you again, a telltale sign of your impending release coling up. "Good girl, lookacha getting all shakey.." logans deep chuckle shakes his shoulders, a heavy squeeze to his cock as he nods at you "start again"
Your hips continue their past pace, rougher grinds and bounces squeaking the bed as you buck quicker. The feeling of your orgasm re igniting in your gut. Your clit pulses needily, panties so soaked through by this point that the bears fur bunches wetly beneath you. Your grip on the leg white knucked as you plead out to logan, who still stands heavy at the end of the bed.
"Pleasepleaseplease- daddy.. Can i? Need ta' cum.."
"You need it sweet girl? S'that right?" he rasps, treading closer until his hand gathers your hair from the side. The pull at your scalp is tigh just as before. Your eyes flutter and its then he yanks, pushing you to open your eyes and look at him.
"Yea! God fuck please.." you sob, pace beginning to grow unsteady from the exertion of chasing your orgasm. "Feels g-good"
"Go on, green light." he nods with a growl, lips pressingjust below your ear as he does so, egging you on. "Do it. Cum on that bear like you would daddys cock.".
You cum with a high pitched whine, blood pumping white hot through your veins. Your vision spotted and ears ringing as you tremble; pelvis still grinding away chasing at the aftershocks.
Logan feels his cock throb dangerously as he watches you tremble, his own underwear soaked in slick pre. "S-shit. Cmon," logan demands then, pulling you roughly down from the bed until you meet the carpet floor. "On your knees sweetheart.. " The hand not tangled in your hair tugs at his jeans to free his cock
You watch panting as he frees himself from the constraints of his clothes, belt, denim and boxers all quickly tugged just below his heavy balls. Hand working quick over his sensitive shaft before you reach for him. "Yeaaaa thats it, thats it. Make daddy cum all over that pretty mouth. Good girl."
You only have to give one, two, three languid strokes before hot white ropes land on your tongue as he groans much too loud; shirt pulled up between his teeth in a half harted attempt to muffle it. Your hand working from the base to tip until hes grasping at you to stop.
The hand in your hair shifts, pulling at the strands as he rounds to cup your jaw, a large thumb swiping at the corner of your lips. It keeps you open as he eyes how his release coats your mouth like honey.
You're smiling at him, a knowing look from times before in your eye as he pulls his thumb away to wrap that hand around the base of your neck. "there you go, swallow it all.."
Your mouth closes, throat bobbing beneath his touch as you swallow. A small hum sounding out as you grin back, tongue peaking out again to show him.
Logan simply groans at the sight, softening cock twitching. "God you take my cum better than your mom sweet girl... C'mere. Give me a kiss, let daddy taste himself on you."
You stand quick, aided by his grasp on around your collar. Logans kisses are hungry, a clash of teeth and quiet moans. Spit stricken as he savours the remaining taste of himself from your inside your mouth; lewdly suckling at your tongue. He only dares pull away when he can tell your need for breath is becoming overwhelming.
"Did so good you know that?" he rumbles earnestly, lips pressing against your forehead softly. "always making daddy proud of his sweet girl"
You grin a bashful smile, unable to hide the heat on your cheeks, a little giggle of "thank you daddy" slipping into the air that makes logan chuckle while you watch him tuck himself back into his clothes. Quickly fixing his appearance he gives you one final peck on against your bitten lips. Quite mumblings of how 'dinner's going to be ready soon' as he bends, handing you your ealier discarded shirt and tredding towards the door.
With one final glance cast to your appearance he makes sure to remind you that you 'Just have to ask' before the door closes behind him with a soft thud.
Until the next time you need him.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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ALSO sry im so talkative today idk whats gotten IN to me but anyways. its sooo crazy 2 me that ppl have other birthdays that arent the sake day as my birthday like obviously i know ppl do but its crazy to me. bc january 13th is like My birthday ykwim. like its such a good day to have a birthday on so beautiful 1/13/2005 gods specialest girl was born ykwim.
#also the cafe is plsying so much lana del rey im rly scared guys. ive never listened to ldr outside of nightcore when i was 11#but ya i loooove having a january birthday bc it makes it so easy to figure out how old i was during an event. bc its like. ok unless the#event happened in the first 12 days of the year i can just subtract 5 from the year it happened and thats how old i was. ykwim. like 2007 i#was 2 rhe entire year basicslly 2012 i was 7 the entire year its awesome#whereas if i had a september birthday. Like some people (my sibling). itd be a wholee production like ok was it before or after the end of#september. which is isnt rly that difficult but i have trouble remembering what specific month a thing happened in#but i can remember seasons. which again like ig isnt the difficult bc if it happened in wjnter etc. spring etc. summer etc. but if it#happened in fall id probably be confused..#basically january is the best month of the year and the most beautiful girls are born then#a fun fact is i wasnt born on friday the 13th. i was born on a thursday#BUT my 1st birthday was friday and so was myyy 16th i think. idr. but yeah sometimes its on a friday which is cool :]#and another fun fact is it was a sunny day but (according to my dad) there was a random lightning strike like. right when i was born. so#basically i think im rly rly quite special. joke. i think that lightning strike was god saying Lord well hold on. why would god he saying#lord. thats kinda funny. thats like if i went Connor i am going to put this guy in situations. which tbf i do refer to myself in 3rd person#mentally On occasion. but anyways. sry i distracted mysekf and forgot what i was gonna say. its tly funny to imagine god just being like#Lord almighty.#speaking of idk if you guys know this abt me but i say lord almighty and jesus christ and good lord etc so much. and i didnt always i like#started saying them a year or so ago and now i cant stop. i wasnt even raised religious im not religious in the slightest . but my first#reaction to things now is Lord almighty... like girl you do not even know him.#anyways thats all. sry
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kissenturine · 8 months ago
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boothill,, gunplay. thats the thought,, if ur comfortable writing that ofc ofc
𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐃 boothill x m!reader — 1.4k words, not proofread, minors do not interact
TO NOTE: gun play, slight chocking, boothill puts his gun in reader's mouth, boothill kind of bends reader over, boothill also makes reader jerk off, uh boothill kinda mean-ish, he pretends to shoot reader, aftercare is not written but it is given! lmk if i missed anyy :3
KAI SAYS: hello guys,, shorter than usual bc ive landed myself in the er due to multiple reasons haha (chronic hives, low blood pressure, fainting spells, dehydration, etc) and i miiight not be able to post until like next weekend maybe (?) so so soso sorry for the inconvenience aaargh, writing this in the hospital too... not dying tho everything super minor so!!
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The first time you ever saw Boothill pull a gun was at a training centre. He said something about wanting to work on his aim, and so he decided to head there, late at night. No one else was there—just the two of you.
Boothill pulls out his gun, flicking a few bullets into the spinning revolver with practiced ease before he pulls the trigger. A loud ‘bang’ fills the room, followed by the sound of his metal bullets clinking to the floor after the shot.
“Well color me stoked.” Boothill grins, showing off his sharp teeth. “Seems I ain’t that bad after all!”
“Well, you were always good with guns, anyway.” You respond, returning Boothill’s grin with a smile of your own. He was indeed good with guns, and it was undoubtedly attractive.
Boothill’s hands spin the revolver, watching the metal clink. It was much too fast for you to see, so you didn’t know which one ended up landing. Boothill is quick to draw his gun again, smirking as he pointed it at you—straight into your chest.
“Boothill?” You question. “What are you—”
You are cut off by the loud sound of his gun shooting. Your eyes shut and you winced instinctively, your body tensing up for the bullet that was about to hit your skin.
…Yet it never happened. 
Cracking one eye open, you peer at Boothill cautiously, only to find him gripping his metal abs, a roaring laugh rolling from his lips. “Oh, darlin’ you know I’d never shoot ya!” He laughs again, though this time it was softer. “C’mon, love, I’d never hurt ya.” He murmurs sweetly as he makes his way closer to you, his gun still in hand.
He presses the muzzle playfully against your chest, trailing it up and down your abdomen. Boothill’s smirk only widened as he slipped his gun—along with the hand holding it—under your shirt. He presses the muzzle right against your nipple, watching you shiver at the cool metal.
“Boothill.” You whisper firmly. “What’re you doing?”
He says nothing, only continuing to drag his gun against your skin, sending shivers of delight across your body.
Eventually, his gun finds its way to the hem of your pants. Boothill gives you a wicked smile before he uses his free hand to yank down your pants and boxers, exposing your half-hard cock. “Well, ain’t that a pretty sight.” He cooes, letting the muzzle of his gun rest against your tip.
“Jerk it for me, pretty boy.” Boothill says. You blink up at him, confusion filling your face.
“Huh…?” You question.
“I said.” Boothill groans, pressing the muzzle of his gun harder into your tip. “Jerk it for me, or else I’m gonna be shootin’ this pretty lil’ dick o’ yours.” Boothill wouldn’t really. You knew that. He said it himself. And yet… the fear that he would is still there, forcing small tears to well in your pretty eyes as you looked up at him desperately.
“O-Okay.” You comply, wrapping your hand around your shaft as you slowly start to glide your closed fist up and down.
“Good boy.” Boothill praises, and his voice makes your dick twitch against his gun.
You move your hand, squeezing as you get to your tip and rolling your thumb to spread your precum. You throw your head back, moaning loudly as Boothill rocked the muzzle of his gun in time with your hand.
“Look at ya.” He groans, his free hand going to squeeze at your throat. “Gettin’ off to my gun pointed at ya.” Boothill smirks, rolling the revolver again until the familiar ‘click’ sound resounds around the room. “Pretty thing, d’ya even know what this could do to you? Or are you too dumbed down already?”
“Stop teasin’” You whine, your hand's pace slowing as you turn your gaze away from Boothill’s. “Not that dumb yet…”
“Yet.” He repeats, removing his gun from your dick. “Think I can change that real quick, no?” A sharp laugh escapes Boothill’s lips as he suddenly hoists you up and off the barstool you sat on. He spins your body with only a smidge of grace as he lands you roughly on your stomach against the table, your ass now facing Boothill.
“Aeons, you’re so pretty…” He murmurs, his hands roughly groping the fat of your ass. “Can’t believe yer all mine…”
A whine slips from your lips, high and pathetic as your eyes flutter closed. “Yeah…” You whisper. “All yours…” You feel Boothill drag the muzzle along your back—sliding it under your shirt, before he pulls his arm up, tearing through the thin fabric. You shiver at the newfound cold, goosebumps prickling your exposed skin.
You hear the zipper of his pants as he pulls it down, pulling out his cock and tapping it against your clothed ass before he’s yanking down your shorts. Boothill traces a metal finger around your puckered rim, eyeing you carefully. “Such a cute ‘lil hole…” He whispers out breathlessly. “Can’t wait to fuckin’ destroy it.”
The instant Boothill stops speaking, you feel the tip of his metal cock push past your hole, stretching you out more than you could ever imagine—despite doing this with him before. “Boothill.” You moan out, eyes fluttering as you crane your neck to look at him—only to have your face pushed right back into the table by the shove of his gun against the back of your head,
“Stay still f’me, pretty.” Boothill groans, easing his cock into you. The more he pushes in, the more painful the stretch is… And yet, the more painful it is, the more pleasure your body seems to derive from it. Boothill is only halfway in when you feel like you’ve been stuffed to your limit. A pathetic sound escapes you and you feel his gun press down harder.
Boothill removes his gun from you, using it to force your head to the side. He leans down, spitting a thick glob of spit all over the muzzle, smirking as it gets his gun all messy. “Open.” He taps it against your lips, making sure to smear his spit all over. Boothill’s smirk only widens when you follow, opening your mouth and letting his muzzle sit between your pretty lips. “Atta boy.” He whispers, thrusting with full force his cock into your awaiting hole.
“Boothill…!” You moan out, though it’s muffled by his gun pressing against the flat of your tongue. Your thighs tense at the sudden pleasure. A gurgly whine leaves your throat. “I can’t—”
“You can,” Boothill growls, pressing his gun deeper into your throat. His thumb goes to spin the revolver, making sure it lands on a slot with a bullet before continuing, “and you will. Ya know why, cutie? ‘Cause you're my good boy, and good boys take what they’re given.”
He sets a brutal pace after, thrusting into you relentlessly. It doesn’t matter how you plead, all Boothill does is press his gun further down your throat—until you’re sure your lips will bleed from the stretch. Eventually, his tip knocks against your prostate, sending you over the edge. Your dick squirts a load, all over the table and floor, yet Boothill doesn’t falter.
“Look at you, cummin’ like a slut.” He groans, and his pace seems to increase. He’s suddenly going harder, faster, everything that makes your head spin with the added overstimulation.
You cry against the gun, tears welling in the corner of your eyes. Boothill seems to enjoy the sight, leaning down to kiss softly against the back of your neck, his free hand wrapping around your waist and fisting your spent cock.
“That’s it…” He coos. “You think ya can give me one more?” His hand increases, matching the rhythm of his thrusts as he knocks into your prostate again and again and again. “C-C’mon, need t’do it together.” You nod your head eagerly, drool slipping from between the corner of your lips and his gun.
Boothill thrusts harshly, finally sending you over the edge for the second time, and you feel his metal dick twitch in time with you. Your eyes roll back, ecstasy overwhelming you as Boothill pumps a thick, sticky load into your ass, painting your walls white.
“You’re so good f’me…” He coos into your ear, sliding his gun slowly out of your mouth. With a familiar click, the resounding sound of a gunshot echoes throughout the room as he shoots his last bullet into the table—right by your head. “You’re always so good an’ pretty with my gun…”
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𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @helloanime @kiekole (send ask without anon to be added)
© KISSENTURINE. do not translate, plagiarize, edit, or repost
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